First love
by ifellinlovewith6guys
Summary: You will always be a part of me. A painful but sweet memory. My first love.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Do not own bleach.

Should I continue or leave it as a one-shot? And comments are always much appreciated!

Enjoy!

**First love**

"Should I go on that blind date?" Turning to her right, she asked.

_Yes, you should._

"Somehow, I knew you would say that." Smiling, she stood up on the brick fence.

_Hey, be careful._

"I suddenly feel like singing." Looking at _him _for an approval, she got a slight shy nod as an indication for her to continue.

"At first like a friend, then like a precious lover

From the time I put your heart into mine

My fluttering heart believed that

It would become fate, my foolish first love

Even if I could only breathe, I was happy

It was a love like sunshine

I thought it would last forever

But now only memories remain

Now even if my hurting heart and sad tears lean on my cheeks, it's okay

Even if scars from memories are left over my whole body, it's okay

My heart chose you first, my…"

_first love is enough_

_I'll keep you forever, my first love_

_Like exciting magic, that kiss with you,_

_It was a love like the starlight…_

Staring at _him, _she was surprised that _he_ sang with her.

_Surprised?_

"I didn't know you knew the lyrics." Bending down, she confessed.

_It was because this is your favorite song._

Smiling, she sat down next to _him_.

_I love you._

And then, _he _was gone. She was back to staring at the air.

"Shall we go?" Jumping down from the brick fence, she smiled at her pet dog. Her first ever present from _him_. And probably the only one she would receive from _him_.

I don't think I can ever forget you.

You will always a part of my heart.

A painful but sweet love.

My first love.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not own Bleach.

* * *

She never thought she would fall for him. Their first meeting was a bad start, maybe even horrible as she smiled at the memories.

* * *

"_Sir, there she is." One of the guards pointed towards the stage. On the stage was a blonde dressed in a mini black dress, singing and waving her hands towards her audience. The king of the country, Kuchiki Byakuya, had just ordered him, Hitsugaya Toshiro, a first class ranking royal guard, who directly answers to the king himself, to fetch the princess from the airport who was coming back to live for good after her college graduation overseas. She was famous for her disappearing acts when she had returned for her summer and winter breaks, and to prove that, she was long gone from the airport even before they had arrived at the airport._

_Based on the advices from the guards who had taken this mission of fetching the princess from the airport before, the princess would always appear at __**this**__ nightclub right after she checked out from the airport. _

_Without any notice, he walked right up the stage and grabbed the blond, who was still in the midst of singing, to the backstage. Dragging the blond into a private room, despite the shouting and kicks, he dumped her on a black sofa which was placed in the middle of the room._

"_Hey! What the hell are you doing?" the blond cursed as she straightened herself up on the sofa after being dumped like a sack of potatoes._

"_Fetching you home." Toshiro replied, standing in attention. With that, the other guards assigned on this mission also walked into the private room and stood at attention._

"_And this is how you fetch me home? By dragging and dumping me like a sack of potatoes on the sofa?" the blond raised her voice as she stood up, walking towards the row of guards standing at attention._

"_I'm sorry if my actions were a bit rough." Toshiro apologized before giving the sign to the rest of the guards to salute._

"_Welcome back, Princess." The guards saluted at the blond._

_Taking her wig off, Rukia fixed her raven hair before taking a step towards Toshiro. "And here I thought all of you forgot your formalities."_

"_I really hate you, you know." Moving closer, she whispered into Toshiro's ear._

"_Anyway, I'm not going home yet, so you and your bunch of guards can just go back to the palace." She announced before walking out of the room. Immediately after she turned her back against them, the guards stood at ease._

_Just as Rukia's right foot stood out of the room, she turned back. "I have not accepted your formalities." And every guard quickly went back to saluting. Smirking, she left the room._

"_Sir, so what do we do now?" one of the newbie guards asked Toshiro._

"_Follow her." He replied before walking out of the room._

* * *

"_Where is the princess going?" A bunch of black cars were following a raven-haired girl as she walked along the streets. Suddenly, the girl knelt down._

"_Look, the princess looks like she is hurt." One guard shouted out and the whole string of black cars stopped which resulted in a traffic jam._

_Suddenly, Rukia stood up before running away as fast as possible. Seeing the situation, Toshiro immediately gave chase._

"_Crap, it's the princess's trap." The newbie guard cursed as he looked at the traffic jam._

"_Let's just hope Sir Toshiro can catch her." Another guard replied as they went back to their black cars._

_Running as far as her legs can carry her, she cursed as she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. Within a few seconds, she was stopped by that person. _

"_Fine, I will stop running." Rukia surrendered as she took in huge breaths due to lack of oxygen from all the running. They had run to a famous tourist attraction, a lookalike wall of China, in their country. As it was night time, there were not as many people as compared to day time where it was jam packed with tourists._

"_Where are you going?" Toshiro asked as Rukia walked a little further away from him. Stopping at a part of the wall, she hauled herself up and sat on it._

"_Don't you think the night scenery is breathtaking? You can get a better look here." She patted at the empty space to the right of her._

_Hauling himself up, he sat beside her, slightly keeping his distance from her. Turning around, he saw the beautiful lights of the city, looking like stars shining brightly. _

"_It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rukia smiled as she asked, eyes never leaving the scenery. Hearing no reply, she turned to look at him and their eyes met._

"_You know, you run pretty fast." _

"_Thank you for your compliment, Princess. You yourself run pretty well too."_

"_Don't think that compliment can get you anywhere. I still hate you." Rukia declared before standing up on the brick wall._

"_Princess, you should be careful."_

"_Shut up! I'm not a kid anymore." She stretched herself. "Suddenly I feel like singing." Smiling towards him, she opened her mouth and began to sing her favorite song._

_**My first love.**_

* * *

After their first encounter, her impression of the first class royal guard Toshiro Hitsugaya seemed to have worsened. Based on her experience and the comments from her two brothers, King Byakuya and Prince Ichigo, Toshiro Hitsugaya was a serious and stoic man. He was the kind of person who had to follow the rules and regulations of the royal palace strictly, which annoy her somehow. She always tried her very best to contain her anger and not scream at him to shut up whenever he started going on about rules, something her two brothers often remind her that shouting and screaming isn't really princess-like behavior. Like Ichigo was better than her at behaving royal.

But all that impression changed when her brother, King Byakuya died at the resort exclusive for the royal family, along with Queen Hisana during their annual short holiday. She was at the scene of her brother's death, but she had no memory of anything. No memory of meeting her brother, no memory of leaving the resort, no memory of how she ended at the bottom of a cliff situated just 5m away from the resort.

It was a painful experience for her. She was temporary paralyzed from waist down, and there were many changes in the royal family. Ichigo was immediately crowned King in the midst of their mourning and they had labeled both of the deaths as an accident.

She continued to have nightmares even after weeks of the accident. Rukia would dream that she was in the resort waiting for her brother and sister-in-law. As she waited and waited, she heard a click at the front door. Figuring it was Byakuya and Hisana, she walked towards the door deciding to give them a surprise. Minutes passed as she waited near the door but nobody came in. The feeling of unease began to creep in as she opened the door to find both of them standing at a distance away from the front door. She ignored that unease feeling as she smiled and ran towards them. Suddenly, they were gone and a woman dressed in black stood in front of her. Rukia couldn't see her face no matter how hard she tried. The woman mouthed some words and smiled eerily at her before Rukia screamed, waking up drenched in sweat.

She did not know why, but she was just afraid of the woman, afraid of her smile, her soundless words.

With all the changes in the royal family, she saw less and less of Toshiro Hitsugaya, the man who always annoy her in the past until she had to be temporary crowned Queen for a month when Ichigo had to go for an important meeting somewhere far.

Rukia knew Ichigo was planning to bring Toshiro along with him, and even though she wanted to curse at the feeling of uselessness and loneliness, she knew she needed him by her side.

* * *

"_Can I have a moment?" wheeling herself into his room, Rukia asked, trying her best to sound polite._

"_Sure." Toshiro replied, standing at attention. _

_Looking up to stare at him, she took in a deep breath before making her request. "Stay by my side."_

_Surprised at that statement, he looked down and faced her. "But, King Ichigo asked to…"_

_He was cut short as she shouted at him. "Just go tell my brother. I need you by my side!"_

_Clenching the hem of her oversized blouse, she waited for his reply. She had hoped he would agree and as minutes passed, there was still no reply from him._

"_Then, are you giving up on me?" She asked, tears threatening to fall from her violet-colored eyes._

"_I know, I must look really weak to you now, unlike how a royal princess should be. Even though I still hate you, I need you by my side. I trust you, which is why I am here begging you to stay behind." Confessing, she felt tears streaming down her face._

"_I will stay by your side, I promised."_

* * *

Perhaps at that moment, she had fallen for him.

As promised, he had stayed by her side during her one month as the royal queen. Her nightmares still continued and sometimes she would not sleep for fear of going through the horrible nightmare. He would stay with her and they would talk and talk for hours, until he fell asleep. Smiling at his sleeping look, she realized that under that serious and stoic look, he was interesting and she was falling deeper and deeper for him.

Their harmonious ambiance broke when one day; he decided to keep a distance from her. Whenever she wanted to ask him something, he would always say that he was busy and ask another guard to entertain her. At first, she just smiled and let go of it, believing that perhaps he really was busy, especially after they found out that the deaths of Byakuya and Hisana was not an accident and that involved a lot of investigation. But soon, she got annoyed and was always in a bad mood, which she took it out on the poor servants.

* * *

"_Why are you avoiding me?" Rukia has managed to catch him alone in his room._

"_I have work to do." Standing up, he bowed before walking towards the door but was blocked by Rukia's wheelchair._

"_Stop avoiding me!" She screamed. She could care less that now she was acting more like a spoilt brat than of a royal princess._

"_Didn't you say you would stay by my side? Was that just words of pity? Pity that I had become crippled?" _

_Moments passed as Rukia waited for an answer. She swore she was going to throw her slipper at him if he still had not answered._

"_I did not say that out of pity. I really promised to stay by your side." _

"_Then why?" she questioned, relief that it was not the worst case scenario that she had thought of._

"_Because, I know you like me." Confessing, Toshiro looked down to face Rukia._

_With that sudden confession, Rukia blushed slightly as she looked down at her skirt, as if it was more interesting than their conversation. How did he know? Was she that obvious? All these questions were bombarding her mind when his next words broke her heart._

"_I'm sorry, I cannot like you back. Maybe you just find me interesting since you haven't seen someone like me before. But there may be one day when you will get bored of me. I know myself, a serious and boring guy."_

"_Bu..but, I would not get bored of you. I swea…" Trying her best to change his mind, Rukia was cut short by Toshiro._

"_Please, just let me go. This is my pride." And with that, he stepped out of the room, leaving Rukia all by herself. Despite it not being a proper rejection, since she had not yet confessed, her heart felt like it was being torn into pieces._

* * *

After his rejection, her nightmares grew worse. She tried her very best not to think of him, his outstanding white hair, his turquoise eyes, his voice, but to no avail, and her nightmares remained a horrible state.

When Rukia heard from Ichigo that Byakuya and Hisana's deaths were caused by someone, she tried to focus her mind in getting her memories back to find the culprit rather than on a certain royal guard. But getting her memories back proved harder than she thought, especially since her mind was so bent on towards Toshiro Hitsugaya.

But all that changed when Senna, the queen-to-be, got hurt in a mysterious attack. That made Rukia determined to focus on her amnesia treatment, instead of always postponing since she could not concentrate.

Ichigo had warned her to take her time, since a person's memories can be quite delicate, but Rukia was determined. She would not act like a spoilt brat anymore, she would act like the royal princess, and she would move on with her life.

But the memories were horrible, even till now, she regretted getting them back.

* * *

_Rukia was standing back at the resort, waiting for Byakuya and Hisana to come back, seeing as there was no one in the resort._

_Suddenly, a click sound was heard. Thinking it was Byakuya and Hisana, Rukia went and hid behind the door, wanting to give them a surprise. Ignoring the feeling of unease, she posed, ready for her 'attack'. _

_But what came through the door were not Byakuya and Hisana, it was someone she had not thought of. In a blink of an eye, a gun was pointed at the back of her head._

"_Princess dear, you came at the wrong time." Watching someone walking through the door, she realized with horror that it was the woman that had appeared in her nightmares. _

_Staring at the woman, who was smirking at her, she felt someone grabbed her from behind, the gun never moving an inch from her head as she was forced to walk towards the fireplace._

"_Go on." The woman nodded slightly towards the two guys behind Rukia. _

"_Wha…?" Before Rukia could finish her question, she was forced down near the fireplace. Watching the woman open a brown-colored box, the feeling of unease inside Rukia grew bigger and bigger. _

_Revealing the insides of the box to Rukia, all she could see was black powder._

"_Do you know what it is? Something that will make the King and Queen die peacefully."_

_Realizing what the black powder was, Rukia backed away from the box with all her might, which wasn't much, seeing how she was restrained._

"_No, no, no!" Screaming, she tried to crawl away from the fireplace but her left arm was held tightly by the guy restraining her while the woman grabbed her right arm. _

"_If you want to live, you will have to do it." The woman threatened as she looked towards the guy with the gun. The feel of the gun on her head made Rukia opened her right hand as tears streamed down. Feeling her hand stained with the black powder, Rukia screamed as she tried to retract her right arm. _

_But it was all in vain as she was pushed forward towards the fireplace, right hand stretched out just above the charcoal that was yet to be burned._

"_Relax your hand, princess." The woman whispered as she pried open Rukia's fingers._

"_No! Please!" Crying, Rukia begged._

"_Dear, it's for your life. Either you live or your brother and sister-in-law live." _

_Screaming, she felt the black powder dropped from her hands into the fireplace._

* * *

"It was me, me! I was the one who killed Byakuya and Hisana!" Screaming, Rukia cried in the arms of Ichigo, who was with her during the whole treatment.

"I just wanted to save myself. In exchange, I gave up my brother and sister-in-law's lives!" Screaming and thrashing, Rukia felt her arms restraining by Ichigo and something was injected into her body. Soon, she became limp and fell back into a world of darkness.

The reality was so painful that even when Toshiro came to visit her, to touch her pale cheek, she would just stare at the ceiling. At the next minute, she would suddenly cry out, to which Toshiro would hug her and calm her down.

Weeks passed and Rukia's condition still did not turn better. She was like a living corpse, and she did not speak to anyone.

* * *

_She was sitting at the bench in the middle of the garden, staring out towards nothing. Walking towards her, Toshiro stood in front of her, blocking her view. Rukia just continued to stare, as if not noticing Toshiro's existence._

_Suddenly, Rukia felt a slap on her right cheek. Looking up, she saw Toshiro who was holding her shoulders, forcing her to look at him._

"_Wake up, Kuchiki Rukia! You are the royal princess right? So act like one!" He screamed at her face. Tears begin to form as they threatened to spill when she felt something touch her lips._

_Toshiro was kissing her and tears streamed down her face. Releasing her, Toshiro hugged Rukia, stroking her back as she continued to stain her royal uniform with tears._

"_Shall we go for a walk?" Smiling at her, Toshiro knelt down, waiting for Rukia to climb on to his back. Hesitantly, she looked at Toshiro's back. _

"_Will you think me as a selfish person? Or maybe even worse, a monster?" _

_Turning to face her, Toshiro wiped Rukia's tears as he shook his head. "No. It was not your fault. You were forced to do it. Don't worry, I will never think of you like that. I would protect you and always be by your side." _

_Smiling, Rukia hugged Toshiro, wishing that they could stay like this forever. _

"_I will be going on a holiday." Toshiro announced as he carried Rukia on his back._

"_When?" Breathing in the scent of his hair, she asked._

"_Two days later." He replied as they walked across the garden, the flowers blooming beautifully, a sight not to be missed._

"_So soon?" _

"_Don't worry, I will be back. In the meantime while I am gone, I shall give you some homework."_

"_What?" surprised at the word 'homework', Rukia asked._

"_Number 1: Do your therapy. Number 2: Try to interact with more people. Ever since your accident, you have been going out lesser and lesser. Number 3: Go back singing again. I missed your voice." Stopping to place Rukia back on the bench where she was seated when he found her, he took a seat beside her._

"_So when will you be back?" _

"_In a month."_

* * *

And that was the last time Rukia saw Toshiro. On the second week after Toshiro left for his holiday, Senna had come and told her that Toshiro had died while on a mission.

* * *

"_No! It's a lie! Tell me Senna, it's a lie right? He said he went on a holiday!" She could not believe he was gone, just like that. He had promised her that he would be back, and she would sing her favorite song to him again._

_Looking at Senna's crying face; she knew it was the truth. He had died while on a mission, which he told her it was a holiday. Even till the end, he lied to her. The best and kindest lie in the world._

* * *

"_Sir Toshiro had asked me to pass it to you if anything happens to him. So sorry I passed you this late." Realizing it was the newbie guard she had seen at the nightclub, Rukia smiled as a sign that it was alright._

_Looking at his last memento, it was a safe._

"_Oh! Um, the password… is…140…" the guard apologized as he searched his pocket for the note containing the password to open the safe._

_Punching in some numbers, the safe was opened. "No need to look for it. The password is 140189. My birthday."_

_In the safe, there was only a video cassette._

* * *

"_This is the only place that is able to view the cassette. Sir Toshiro's office." The guard mumbled as he put in the cassette and left the room._

_A few seconds passed and Toshiro came into her view._

"_Er, well this is filming right?" He asked nervously and that made Rukia giggled a little._

"_Well, originally, I wanted to write a letter. But somehow, it did not turn out well, so I gave up on that idea. But since you will not see this, I shall just go on with it." Continuing, Toshiro smiled sheepishly, before sitting straight and looking towards the camera, their eyes meeting._

"_Ever since the day I knew you were in love with me, I was very happy. But also at the same time, I was afraid that you thought I was just interesting. I know that under my serious and stoic façade, I am a very boring person. I was afraid that you would grow bored of me, so I had to hurt you, to save myself from the heartbreaking pain in the near future. I was being too selfish. Ever since the first day I met you, I had fallen for you. You were so carefree, so different from me. You were like a shining star, so glaring and beautiful that I felt fear, fear of losing the bright star when your world came crashing down, when you knew the painful truth, it hurts me so much. But now that you are recovering, I know we can live happily ever after. I love you." _

_Staring at the blank screen, Rukia cried and cried._

* * *

"So how was your blind date?" Ichigo asked while they were having dinner.

"Well, he was not bad." Smiling, she picked up a broccoli before putting it in her mouth to chew it.

"You are 27 years old already. Shouldn't you care about finding someone to marry off? It has been four years. A dead person won't come back." Feeling a kick from Senna under the table, he turned to glare at her before looking back at Rukia. Ichigo knows that Rukia still has Toshiro in her heart. But if she is not going to move on, when will she be able to?

"But you married Senna when you were 30! So technically speaking, I still have 3 more years!" Smiling, Rukia put her fork before excusing herself from dinner.

"I'm going out for a walk." Rukia shouted as she put her pet dog on lease before leaving the palace.

"You shouldn't have said that, you idiot!" Smacking her husband's head, Senna scolded Ichigo.

"Well, she would have to face it sooner or later. After all, time heals all wounds." Rubbing his injury, Ichigo sighed before continuing his dinner.

* * *

Strolling along the streets, Rukia and her pet dog arrived at the same place they had arrived a few days ago, the place where in the past; both of them had so much fun.

Walking to the same part of the brick wall, she hauled herself up before lifting her dog and placing it to her left. Turning to her right, she smiled at _him_.

"I'm back again." She grinned as she stroked the fur of the dog. Moments passed before she continued. "I think I need to get married before the age of 30 or I will die of all the nagging from Ichigo."

_Seems like his way of style._

"Won't you feel lonely if I marry? I won't have much time to come here anymore."

_It's fine. _

"You know, your answer really hurts me."

_Can I hear you sing?_

Pausing to wipe her tears, she stood up, smiling at _him_ as she cleared her vocals…

* * *

And that's it, the second part to this story. I feel so satisfied and sad writing it. Hahas…

Well, I really loved this plot even though it was not mine. But I prefer happy endings rather than sad ones or my poor heart can't take it. D:

In this story, Rukia is 23, while Toshiro is 25 I guess. Poor Toshiro, dying at the age of 25. );

At first I wanted to put Inoue as the Queen, but I don't know why, it feels weird. So I had to search for the long list of bleach characters (which was not that long after all), and placed Senna in.

**Dirtyspots-Chan:** Thank you for reviewing! I actually wanted to keep it a one-shot, but after your review, I decided to make it a two-shot. So enjoy! :)

Please read and review, it will be much appreciated.

Love,

Ifellinlovewith6guys (Haven't done this signing off in ages! ;))


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